Scruffy: The Man, The Myth, The Janitor
by TheUnknownblur
Summary: Who is he really? My second one shot. Rated T for violence.


It was pretty quiet that evening in the year of 3008; the earth had been saved thanks to Bender, Fry, Leela and the rest of the PE crew. They always were the heroes and the main attraction for something in the Planet Express Company.

Scruffy never really seemed bothered by this however. He kept to himself a lot, no one really knew why; no one really cared enough to think about it. No one ever visited the boiler room, maybe Bender or Fry looking for stashed porn, usually they were lucky in finding some. Or when the professor needed to store some illegal experimentations, he would often hide them there. For most of his life, it was Scruffy's home……or maybe it was something else…….

Something was ringing inside the boiler. Scruffy got up and opened a latch and reached in. It was a phone. He answered it, and a low voice said, "Operation mop and stop is go."

Scruffy nodded, and walked upstairs and into the broom closet. At the far end of the closet, there was a button that was hidden by brooms and mops. Knowing that none of the PE crew would be bothered to go in there, it would be a perfect place to hide anything. He pushed it and the wall opened, revealing a room full of weapons, ammunition and gadgets. He picked up three pistols, a rifle, and a heavy machine gun. He then put on a tuxedo, sunglasses and combed his hair.

He then ran back to the boiler room and crawled underneath his hammock. The punched the ground, and suddenly he was shot from a tube just underneath him. While he was being shot at 500 miles per hour, he casually grabbed a pack of cigarettes from his coat pocket and lit one up. Just as he was about to take a puff, he was shot into the streets of New New York. As he was in mid air, his cigarette fell out of his mouth. He manoeuvred in the air, causing him to fall on his feet. He stuck his two fingers out (like the peace sign) and waited. After a few seconds, the cigarette landed right in between his fingers. He took a puff and exhaled.

He put the cigarette back in his mouth and moved towards a near by skyscraper. There was a sign that was labelled "Cleaning company centre" with a statue of a woman in an apron, bashing her child over the head with a rolling pin. He put his shades back on and cocked his machine gun. He entered through the front door, nothing but destruction. Two blobs entered from another room and stopped in fear as they saw the man that had just entered.

They brought out large weapons, and shot at him. They were firing what seemed to be mud.

In a split second, Scruffy rolled to his right and fired at the two blobs. The both went down in a split second. Scruffy grinned and quickly took out a mop and cleaned up the mess. He ran up the stairs, receiving heavy resistance from some other blobs a few stories upwards. He rolled for cover and quickly brought out his rifle. Just as they stopped firing, he quickly pulled from cover, looked through the scope and shot three times. A few seconds later, three figures shot down and splattered all over the place. He wipe off his face and moved on.

Just as he was making his way towards the top of the building, he could here a conversation going on in a nearby room. He hid against the wall and listened in.

"We need to hurry up, there's been some commotion downstairs and we need to get all of this javex, dish soap and Mr. Clean out of here! Don't you idiots realize that we cannot conquer this planet if they have these weapons of mass destruction?"

Just then, four blobs entered the hallway. All of them armed with sub machine guns. Scruffy put away his rifle and armed himself with two pistols, he made sure they were loaded and jumped sideways. As he was in mid air, he fired his pistols, it seemed as though everything was in slow motion. He kept firing at the targets until he as out of bullets. He landed on the other side of the hallway. And to his luck and surprise, all of the blobs were dead.

He threw away his pistols and continued upwards until he reached the top floor. There were two other blobs guarding the doorway. Scruffy charged towards the two, knocking them both to the ground in one punch.

He wiped off his hands and climbed up the ladder towards the roof. There, he saw the mastermind of it all. He was a blob along with all of his henchmen. The only difference was that he was blue.

He turned around, "Ah, the great agent, Scruffleton, it's been a while since I've seen you." He said, with a grin, "You have been killing our kind for years, whether we be in our true forms, or hiding underneath your chair, floor, desk or sink. But you cannot kill us all." The blob reached behind him and pulled out a magnum (huh, wonder were that's been……) and shot at Scruffy. Luckily it missed him, but hit the end of his rifle, which ricocheted and damaged his machine gun.

The blob pointed his weapon again and fired it luckily it missed Scruffy. He pulled out the remainder of his weapons and fired it at the blob; it hit him right in the chest. As scruffy walked towards the dying creature, he managed to find a mop and a bucket filled with water. He picked them up, and poured some dish soap that he found from his pocket. He dampened the mop with the soapy water and started rubbing it in the creatures face.

It screamed, "Grrr! Surprisingly long lasting forest lemon dish soap! Now available in blueberry blast and strawberry island for only $2.99 a bottle! My only weakness!"

The blob hideously started to melt. Scruffy smiled in satisfaction and jumped off of the building. He managed to activate a parachute, making him land softly onto a dumpster. He quickly took off his apparel and got back into his janitors outfit. He ran to the back of the PE building and entered through a little opening. After a few minutes of crawling, he found himself back in the boiler room…with someone else in there. It was Bender.

Bender had one eye on a table, and it was centred on him. Bender, with the rest of his body, had a nut from a bolt in one hand, and a dirty magazine in another.

"You got it centred, right? Okay, good!"

Just before he could do anything else, he turned around and saw Scruffy, staring at him in shock and anger.

"Uhh, pccha! It's not what it looks like!" Just then the robot dropped the magazine and the nut. He picked up his eye and ran upstairs screaming.

Scruffy sighed to himself, picked up the magazine and drifted off into a soft slumber, knowing that the world is "safe" for another day.

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A/N: Yeah, kinda pointless but I didn't see too many fics out there about scruffy, so I just decided to do this short little story about him.


End file.
